Words to Avoid

It seems as though every corporation says in 50 words what it can say in 5. When writing or speaking for business purposes, there is one simple rule: write and talk as though you were sitting at home talking to your husband or wife. And don't spin it with fluffy words. Your employees, stockholders, and everyone else will see right through your euphemisms.

For instance, you would never tell your wife that you wanted to make an acquisition of a angled bladed metal swinging recreational apparatus from the local boredom solutions establishment. Especially if you meant you wanted to buy some golf clubs from Dick's.

Most of the words used in corporate speak are chosen because they "sound professional". You talk differently than you would at home to set yourself apart. But typically, at best you sound like a snob, at worst, you sound stupid. And in no case do these words roll off the tongue.

So, here are some words to avoid or, more importantly, words I hate.


Agreeance

I thought this was a local thing, but I heard it on TV the other day. This manufactured word means agreement, as in, "We are in agreeance that you sound like an idiot saying this word.

Out of the Box

This one snuck out of the business world and into the land of the living. What once was a cute phrase for someone or something that was different, it's now become such a cliche that the expression itself is back in the box. Think outside of the box and strike this puppy from your day to day conversations.

Real Time

I've never figured this one out. Real time simply means that it is being done without delays, typically simultaneously with something else. For instance, "we're answering our customer inquiries in real time." This one bugs me because it implies that if you put something off, you're doing it in "fake time." The only fake time I've ever seen was a watch I bought off a guy in an overcoat.

Solution

This just cropped up in the past few years, primarily in marketing. When I was a kid, a solution was one of two things. It was either a chemistry term or it was something you found in the back of Encyclopedia Brown. Now the word seems to be used mean any product or service. And there is why it is worthless. If you're selling soap, don't tell me it is a dirt removal solution. If you're advertising your garbage service, don't tell me you're the leader in sanitation solutions. It doesn't sound more professional. It just sounds like you're peeing on my leg and telling me it's raining.

Space

No, not as in "space cadet", but when you hear someone say it, you'll assume they might be one. This is another word like solution, used to mean pretty much anything that is done. For instance: "we're in the consulting space", or "we have to make our presence known in the consumer space." Kick this one into "outer space."



Real Time

I've never figured this one out. Real time simply means that it is being done without delays, typically simultaneously with something else. For instance, "we're answering our customer inquiries in real time." This one bugs me because it implies that if you put something off, you're doing it in "fake time." The only fake time I've ever seen was a watch I bought off a guy in an overcoat.

Utilize

This busy word means use. You will NEVER find an instance where use will not take the place of utilize. When I see people using it, I want to utilize a baseball bat to brain them.